Some may think that traditional relationship gender roles are past sentiments, but they are in fact still present today, albeit in different forms.
Although the 21st century has brought about many shifts in what defines gender roles, according to Dr. Kevin Alderson, some things are not going to change.
Alderson, who is a licensed psychologist and professor of counselling psychology at the U of C, said that the family one grows up in shapes the way one sees the world.
“We tend to carry the habits of our families,” he said.
For instance, some cultures still value their traditions wherein men hold all the power in relationships and women are seen as caretakers.
Host of the online radio show The Art of Sex, who goes by the name Onalee, also believes that our surroundings heavily influence what we think our roles should be.
“We always feel that we should be doing something different because someone else is doing it,” she said.
In Western society men still have that “little bit” of extra power over women, Alderson said, but the trends of traditional gender roles have lessened, and they are more common in less educated couples.
Men who are struggling to find their place in relationships may be having a problem due to society’s need to categorize them.
Alderson said that though men no longer have to adhere to the “alpha male” stereotypes of the past, there exists a sacred line they don’t want to cross in portrayal of their masculinity for fear of being seen in a way that they do not want to be seen.
Alderson also said that in relationships, women still want a rugged guy and expect men to be the stronger partners.
According to him, men are very conscious of how they present themselves.
Alderson also specializes in working with people who have sexuality and gender identity concerns, and he said that in the LGBTQ community, relationship roles are more versatile.
While LGBTQ relationships are not as defined, Alderson said that a gay male relationship consisting of two ‘tops’ could pose a sexual satisfaction issue because not every gay man enjoys anal sex.
In regards to gender roles, Alderson also believes that people are trying to escape the confines of discrimination on a whole, and society needs to introduce people to diversity at a young age.
Paige Pfefferle, an emergency medical responder student at SAIT, agrees that people’s peers and the media influence the gender roles that they play.
Pfefferele feels that the media creates a negative preconception of how relationship dynamics should be, and that women are influenced by those representations.
She feels that there should be equality in relationships regardless of each person’s role.
Pfefferele said that her boyfriend’s previous partner expected him to pay for everything, and he did not like that.
Pfefferele is comfortable in her role in her relationship and feels that if people have an idea of what they want in life, like school and a career, it is very helpful when determining what they want out of a relationship.
“What you think about yourself is key.”